Knowing when to step in and offer support to an older person is hard.
You need to be alert to the signs of distress – and be prepared to ask for help.
For Tony and Kerry Woods, the first indications that Kerry’s father Mervyn Rick needed help were small but out-of-character changes.
“A person’s eating habits, the way they groom themselves: little things stand out when you know someone,” Tony says.
“Their clothes are a bit shabby and they might wear the same thing for days. The fridge is a little empty. You start to wonder if they’re looking after themselves.”
Mervyn (pictured with carer Lois Healy) had always been capable and independent, and it was only after he recently made the decision to move into Carinity’s Hilltop aged care home that more signs emerged.
“When I was cleaning out the unit it became clear Mervyn hadn’t been really looking after himself; things like out-of-date food and the untidiness of the unit,” Tony recalls.
“Sometimes when you suspect someone is not looking after themselves, it pays to do a little further investigation.”
Caninity has provided us with this handy list of signs that an older person may need help:
Tea and biscuits
When there’s little else in the pantry but biscuits, this can be a sign that a person is forgetting meals, not coping with shopping, or can no longer function in the kitchen. Check the cleanliness of crockery and cutlery, and look for signs of burnt saucepans.
Poor personal hygiene
Lack of attention to basic hygiene and neglecting oral health may indicate forgetfulness or lack of confidence and dexterity. Are clothes being washed or changed regularly?
Confusion or sleepiness
Confusion in an elderly person may indicate dementia or delirium, which may be caused by metabolic disorders, infections and medications. The misuse of medication or alcohol may be signs that a person is self-medicating to cope with distressing physical or mental symptoms.
Withdrawal and apathy
Withdrawal from community activities by a previously active person, unopened mail and missing appointments may be signs that a person is feeling weak, overwhelmed, anxious or confused. Neighbours and regular visitors also may notice changed or anti-social patterns of behaviour.
