The conversations of life

Need some help to survive social distancing? ‘Guilty pleasures’ could be the answer, psychologist says

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Indulging in those activities that make you feel guilty – like watching romantic movies, eating a whole tub of ice cream or singing loudly in the shower – could be the key to protecting yourself from the mental health disorders associated with isolation, according to the experts.

Shira Gabriel, associate professor of psychology at the University at Buffalo, says she is deeply worried about the effect that a lack of social connection may have on people.

Depression, anxiety, poor physical health, and even suicide is linked to social isolation.

“Luckily, there are easy and fun ways to keep connected and protect ourselves,” she says.

“My advice in this crazy and stressful time is to stop feeling guilty about guilty pleasures.”

Her suggestions?

  • Dig into your social media. Post stories of what you are doing. Share your concerns and also your moments of peace. Comment on other people’s posts. And don’t just reach out to the people you are closest to – reach out to your broader social circles. Why not host a virtual coffee or happy hour on a service like Zoom or invite your neighbors to a virtual book club?
  • Prepare the foods that you associate with being loved i.e. comfort foods. “My research suggests that preparing and eating those foods activates a primitive and implicit feeling of being cared for and loved,” the Professor says. “The food can fill our need for social connection and protect us from the negative effects of isolation.” Also consider sharing your recipes and pictures of your food online and try recipes other people post.
  • Take part in all the bizarre and fun new rituals that people are doing with their communities, like dancing on your balcony or posting pictures in your windows. “Our research suggests that these kinds of shared activities foster a sense of collective effervescence… these experiences … make us feel less lonely and they give our lives meaning and that little extra kick of special. Even if it feels little weird to you, give it a try,” Gabriel says.
  • Turn on the TV and stream your favorite TV show or movie. “My research suggests that we can find symbolic social connections though watching (or reading) narratives. Sure, logically you know that the friends you have on Friends are not real, but to your mind they feel real, and our research suggests that they actually can fill your need to belong and make your happier,” Gabriel says.

The Professor says while people might feel reluctant to take up these recommendations, they have been proven to work – and does she have any other advice?

“Wash your hands a lot,” Gabriel adds.

Good to know – sorry neighbours, I’m getting out the karaoke machine.

If this story raises concerns for you or someone you love, please contact one of the organisations below:

Lifeline 13 11 14
MensLine Australia 1300 78 99 78
beyondblue 1300 22 4636

With a background in nursing, Annie has spent over 20 years working in the health industry, including the coordination of medical support for international TV productions and major stadium events, plus education campaigns with a number of national health organisations. In recent years, she has also taken time out of the workforce to be a full-time carer, giving her first-hand experience of the challenges and rewards of this role.


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