When an elderly parent starts to need extra support, adult children are usually the first to provide care at home.
‘The 50-50 Rule: Tips for Siblings Caring for Ageing Parents’ has been developed by Home Instead Senior Care to guide siblings through the process.
Its main advice?
1) Talk to your parents – “It’s crucial to communicate with your parents and understand their needs. Seniors are often fiercely protective of their independence and may even refuse help. However, if they wish to continue living independently at home throughout their elderly years, it may mean they require the assistance of a full-time caregiver.”
2) Do your homework – “It’s important for you and your siblings to firstly identify the types of services that your parent needs. There are a variety of organisations and resources available that can help you meet those needs.”
3) Plan ahead – “Once you’ve identified your parents’ needs are and explored what the available resources are, you can start planning how to share the load. If a parent wants to remain living at home, it will be important to plan for the years ahead and work out whether the duties can be shared by siblings and whether professional help is required.”
4) Be flexible – “Life is fluid and circumstances change. Accept that each of you may not always be able to share the responsibility, and that’s ok. It is important not to insist that all caregiving tasks be split down the middle.”
5) Talk to each other – “It’s vital to communicate if you are feeling overwhelmed with the stress of caring for a parent. Carers Australia found that 55% of primary carers spend more than 20 hours a week providing care, which is the equivalent of a second job. If you’re struggling to cope, call a meeting with your sibling/s to discuss how they can assist.”
It’s good advice. I took two years out of the workforce to care for our mother before she went into residential care so I know being a primary carer isn’t easy.
Having the support of Jill – and our other siblings – made a big difference so why not get some tips on how to balance the load?
National Carers Week is 15th-22nd October.
For more information on navigating the aged care journey, visit agedcare101.com.au.
