The variety and quality of the friends we have, not the number, is most important, friendship experts say.
Research shows that people with varied relationships have better physical and mental health. Studies show that people who have different friends who help them moderate different moods report greater wellbeing in life, a concept some call “emotionships.”
People have the capacity to maintain about 15 core friendships, including five or so intimate ones, according to research by Robin Dunbar, author of “Friends: Understanding the Power of Our Most Important Relationships” and emeritus professor at the University of Oxford, England.
But making new friends is a challenge for many as people age. People retire from work, downsize and sometimes move to a new area to be closer to family.
So, how can you expand your circle of friends?
Retirement villages, lifestyle communities and land lease communities openly create the opportunities for friendships. Here’s how:
Join a group: This helps you take a step into your community and enjoy a whole host of activities, special interests, meetings and events. Meeting regularly to do an activity gives people a real boost and something to look forward to. Start by looking for common interest groups; or if you’re feeling adventurous, seek out groups that are a little outside your comfort zone such as meditation, DIY car repairs, aqua aerobics or basket weaving!
Create your own group: If you like entertaining, then entertain. Pot luck dinners or a BBQ are wonderful (and inexpensive) – and then, before you know it, everyone will take a turn in hosting. Movie nights (whether at home or at the cinema) are fun as you can get together afterwards over a meal.
Organise a group adventure: Travelling with a group is a smart way to go. It’s safer, cheaper and everything is organised. There are now many travel companies specialising in group travel for over 60’s – most even have a tour guide to keep travellers informed and entertained along the way.
This way people from retirement living will meet people from outside their home, from a wide range of backgrounds who may just become lifelong friends. And once you have Facebook, everyone can keep in touch.
Volunteer your time and show off your skills: There is no better way to feel connected than to offer your services and skills to do good for others. Local charities and groups are always putting the call out for volunteers. In fact, most of them would not be able to continue their good work without volunteer support.
Even the smallest retirement villages have regular activities where people can meet, learn a new skill or just have fun. Larger villages are more like resorts, with so many things to do everyone needs a diary to keep track of what’s on – and there’s often a lifestyle coordinator to ensure everyone’s catered for.
