People spend hours creating the perfect profile on their dating site. But new research suggests most of us really don’t know what we’re looking for.
A University of California study has found that while people are broadly looking for partners with positive qualities, what these qualities actually are is not as important.
The researchers asked 700 participants to nominate their top three ideals in a romantic partner – such as funny, attractive or inquisitive – as well as reporting their romantic interest for people they knew personally.
Looking for a link between these ideals, they discovered participants generally found acquaintances who possessed these qualities to be more attractive.
But that’s where things got complicated.
Participants were also asked the extent to which their romantic interest had attributes nominated by another person in the study – like intelligence, thoughtfulness or being down-to-earth.
And interestingly, there was a link between romantic interest and these attributes too.
So, what does it mean?
Apparently, we all want partners who have positive qualities – but we don’t really know what specific traits we want in a partner.
The researchers liken it to ordering food at a restaurant.
“Why do we order off the menu for ourselves? Because it seems obvious that I will like what I get to pick. Our findings suggest that, in the romantic domain, you might as well let a random stranger order for you – you’re just as likely to end up liking what you get,” said Paul Eastwick, one of the study’s authors.
The lesson, they say: don’t be too picky ahead of time about whether a partner matches your ideals on paper – or even let your friends pick your dates for you.
Sounds like a recipe for love to us.
