A new US study says so, finding that baby boomers are the ones who suffer when their adult children return to the nest.
The survey of 9,000 soon-to-retire people by Fidelity and Stanford University’s Center on Longevity found one in nine parents had experienced their child moving back home in the last year, with 68 per cent reporting they were now more stressed and over half (53 per cent) saying that they were less happy.
Over three-quarters (76 per cent) said that the kids had put a dent in their savings.
And the effects weren’t just on their bank account.
Nearly half of the women (46 per cent) said they were now sleeping worse while another 40 per cent had put on weight.
A not-so-happy return to the nest
The fact is multigenerational living can have a negative impact on both sides, with many adult children feeling a lack of independence according to Associate Professor Cassandra Szoeke at the University of Melbourne.
But several studies show that supporting young adult children can benefit parents later on in life.
“Children who leave home later are more likely to have regular contact and provide help to their parents,” Prof Szoeke says.
“We see negative experiences when roles and expectations mismatch. If you look at cultures where it’s usual to have co-residence of adult children and parents, those conflicts don’t exist.”
She says that setting up ground rules and talking about how living together would work with your children before they move back in is key.
And there’s something to be said for lending your kids a hand – just as long as they do their own laundry.
Discussion2 Comments
Know all about this – as a lawyer, because he was not a tenant under tenancy law, I had to sue a middle aged son for trespass because he wouldn’t leave the parents’ home – stay tuned there will be more of this confronting elderly parents regrettably.
My adult son moved back to live with me about six months ago after a three year absence. He does his own laundry, often cooks meals, and I’m finding it a tremendously positive experience. We basically share a flat.
I may have put on a little weight, but it’s only because of the beautiful dinners he cooks!
We had a chat recently about what happens if one of us wants to bring someone home (I’m single and so is he), including what happens if one of us needs condoms in a hurry!
This works as long as everyone remembers they are mature adults, in my opinion.