Be careful – your parents were kind of right to forbid the discussion of certain topics at the dinner table or other ‘polite company’. In the modern world, while we are much more open in the way we communicate and share views, there is still plenty of scope to upset the applecart, especially when it comes to social media.
Now what struck me about this – and what led me to click on the dreaded ‘’Share this on Facebook” link – wasn’t so much to do with the issue of same sex marriage; it was the fact that an unknown ‘Canberra couple’s’ views got to make international headlines. How? Why?
I really put the cat among the pigeons recently and I knew it was quite likely to happen, even as I did it. And yet I did it.
I don’t frequently use Facebook to weigh into debates about topics that I know might potentially upset some of my Facebook friends and this incident reminded me why.
If you are not familiar with Facebook you may be wondering why on earth I even bother under the circumstances. But as I explained in one of my first-ever posts on Frank & Earnest, I am a big supporter of Facebook.
Used sensibly, I think it is a great way of staying connected – and feeling connected – to people you don’t get to see very often. Like many people, my Facebook friends include people I went to high school and university with, several of whom I’ve not seen since then; far flung extended family members of all ages; friends and acquaintances around Australia as well as from a number of other countries around the world.
It’s easy to imagine that there is going to be a diversity of ages and backgrounds and inevitably a bit of a spectrum of opinions here – especially in those marginal, ‘taboo’ areas where our parents warned us not to go in polite company: sex, politics and religion.
So, what did I do? I went for the trifecta!
Standing up for things
Now, I’m not afraid to pin my colours to a mast when I feel strongly about something, whether it is celebrating something wonderful or pointing out something not so wonderful. Of course, I never do it in that crazy, over-opinionated way that some people do, ranting in capital letters, in appalling grammar, swearing or making threats or proclamations. No, no no… I keep it nice, try to focus on the rational reasons for my belief and respectfully make a point.
Which is what I thought I was doing that night. I received a newsletter from the website ‘Mamamia’ and saw that the editor, Mia Freedman, had written a long, feisty article systematically attacking the arguments of a young Canberra couple who had been reported as vowing to divorce if same sex marriage was allowed.
I never do it in that crazy, over-opinionated way that some people do, ranting in capital letters, in appalling grammar, swearing or making threats or proclamations.
[NB: this discussion is not about same sex marriage per se, remember? It’s about the modern media environment and specifically the potential perils of social media…]
You have no doubt heard about it by now, but at that time, I hadn’t heard this story and I thought, what couple? Who are these two residents of the nation’s capital who had prompted this busy journalist to embark on such a thorough and time-consuming piece of work? I Googled ‘Canberra couple gay marriage’ and saw that there were scores of news reports across the internet – here and abroad – telling the story about this ‘Canberra Christian couple’. They’d gone viral! They were famous!
Fifteen minutes of fame
I wondered who they were to capture this much attention. Their names were Nick and Sarah Jensen. Nick Jensen had written an article that was published in the local free newspaper – the Canberra City News – declaring his intention to divorce his wife of ten years if the Federal Parliament votes to change the Marriage Act to accept same sex couples.
There were two photos of the couple in all the reports; one a ‘selfie’ taken on their wedding day, in front of Parliament House.
Now what struck me about this – and what led me to click on the dreaded ‘’Share this on Facebook” link at the bottom of the Mamamia story – wasn’t so much about making a comment on the issue of marriage equality (though in the interests of transparency, I will say that I do think marriage laws should – as they have throughout most of history – remain independent of the church and thus amenable to social change).
It was about my genuine incredulity that one unknown ‘Canberra Christian couple’s’ views got to make international headlines. How, I wondered, did this one ‘Canberra couple’ somehow become an international yardstick for Australian resistance to marriage equality? Why?
If ‘Canberra couple’ opposed some other legislative change in the face of widespread public agreement, would we care?
I know Andy Warhol predicted that in the future everyone would be famous for 15 minutes but why this couple? Did it matter if this couple got a divorce because they didn’t agree with a change to an Australian law? Did this couple’s marital status have any impact on anyone else? What else might they threaten to do in the face of social change they might not like? And would we take any notice?
It seemed to be some sort of publicity stunt that had succeeded in an extraordinary way and yet I didn’t quite get it.
The 24/7 news cycle
Is it partly the result of having a voracious 24/7 news cycle? That anyone can suddenly make international headlines for, well, not doing very much at all? The idea of this made me feel suddenly tired, disappointed and deflated with the world, with the media. So I hit share and I said so.
“Who is ‘Canberra couple?’” I asked and I meant it. Why does the world care if two people in Canberra Australia want to pull a stunt like that? Are we such suckers for ‘content’ that we’ll get all exercised at the slightest thing?
Well, it’s taken me a long time to get around to saying that I won’t be sharing anything like that again. Needless to say there ensued a long and at times unpleasant series of comments and messages from various people, but principally four people, who squabbled together, long and hard in the comments section of my post and at times it was actually nasty.
I kept out of it, waiting for it to finish; hoping it would soon. As expected, it ran its course and I feel confident now that it’s over. But it was a learning experience, and it made me think of another piece of advice that parents always used to dispense: fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
I actually think there is a time and a place for a bit of foolishness but it’s best to choose your moments. In the meantime, everything is a learning experience!
Have you ever put your foot in it, by sharing an opinion in an insensitive way or even telling the wrong joke? Oh well, as the former Prime Minister, Malcolm Fraser once reminded us, life wasn’t meant to be easy. Your story is safe with us!
