It’s the missing persons case that has gripped the city of Portland, Oregon: the disappearance of beloved local icon Dillon T. Pickle.
Dillon, the mascot and spokes-cumber for the Portland Pickles baseball team, was returning from a trip to the Dominican Republic when Delta Air Lines lost him in transit. While Delta eventually found him and returned him to the Pickles office in Portland, his homecoming was short-lived, as an as-yet-identified miscreant pickle-napped him right from the doorstep.
“We call on the people of #pdx to help us find him. We are offering a reward for any information and a ‘no questions asked’ return of Dillon back to our office,” the team pleaded on Twitter.
The police are on the case, and plenty of businesses from Portland and beyond have rallied to offer rewards for Dillon’s safe return, including Amazon gift cards, event tickets, free food, signed and framed drawings of the missing mascot, and – of course – $1000 worth of pickles.
“What began as a kind offer from Deschutes Brewery, a pair of club level seats to a Blazers game in exchange for information leading to Dillon’s safe return, quickly spiralled into much more as companies, artists, and media influencers began adding their own rewards to sweeten the pot.
“It certainly begs the question, is keeping Dillon worth it at this point?” the team asked.
Portland police are on the masked bandit’s trail, but given they haven’t caught him yet, we have to ask: are they gherkin hard or hardly gherkin?
