It’s the classic relationship stalemate. One partner asks the other to do something and the partner who is asked just ignores it – otherwise known as ‘demand-withdraw’ behaviour (and a major cause of divorce).
Now research by California University has shown the silent treatment can work – but it all depends on what you’ve got in the bank.
They surveyed nearly 1,000 American couples over two experiments – 40 per cent living on or below the US poverty line – about their relationship behaviour.
Interestingly, like previous studies on this kind of behaviour, the wife was always the one to ask and the husband the one to ignore (funny about that).
Hear me out here
The result?
Ignoring a spouse’s demands can be helpful if you’re on a lower income. For example, a wife asking her husband to request a raise at work. For a husband with a low-wage job, this could be a risky proposition so being reluctant to follow through could help their financial position – and his self-esteem.
But giving your partner the cold shoulder can be a relationship killer if you’re wealthy. In the same situation, wealthier wives saw the same example as the husband being unwilling to make a sacrifice for the family.
In short, if you’ve got cash, your partner just expects you to do what they say (sound familiar?)
The researchers says the findings could help counsellors who work with couples and policy makers dealing with marriage and families.
We’d say it’s a good reminder: happy wife, happy life.
